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This blog has been moved to a eblogger/blogspot for better blogging design!
Parent Directed Feeding vs On Demand Feeding
Okay, so I just re-scheduled and sleep trained my own daughter, but did it with help from other Newborn Care Specialists. Why is it that when it comes to our own children we need outside professional help to do what we get paid to do professionally for others? My Aunt in law suggests that our children are here to humble us; at any rate, I know I am not alone here!
My daughter is a natural nighttime sleeper, so I got really lucky there. It was daytime sleep (naps) that we were having trouble with. My daughter is the alert, looking around, smiley, playful baby who fights sleep and wants to be with mom. Then she is the VERY LOUD screaming overtired baby who you CANNOT ignore.
For the first month of her life I feed her every 3 hours during the day and whenever she needed it at night. But, she didn't gain weight....so I had to add a supplementary bottle, which I did not like. In an effort to improve my breast milk supply I was told to nurse more often and for as long as the baby wanted to. I was initially opposed to the on-demand style of nursing, but scheduling wasn't working because my daughter wasn't thriving, so I gave it a try.
It worked to improve my milk supply, but my daughter still needs the supplement in order to gain weight. My life had NO predictability, I could never make plans unless they were the same day, and I knew I couldn't last like this much longer. After a month of this on demand feeding my baby went back to an every 3 hour feeding schedule during the day, and sleeping 8-10 hours every night pretty much on her own! But I could not get E.A.S.Y., or Eat, Activity, Sleep, You (me time) to work. She would sleep on the breast while nursing and not go down for naps. I tried putting her down before she ate so she would be rested. I tried putting her down after nursing since she had been sleepy. Neither worked and I just could not get it right.
That was until I reached out to my local circle of Newborn Care Specialists for help! Terian Johnston,CNCS guided me through E.A.S.Y. and now my daughter in napping, eating, and playing "on schedule" like clockwork! She is happy, sweet, talkative, discovering herself and her world, and thriving! And I now have my life back! I can make plans that won't interfere with my baby's needs, and my baby has a predictable routine and is getting nourished and rested throughout the day. She knows she is respected because things aren't happening to her by force or surprise, but flowing predicitably and calmly as her body's natural rhythm goes.
My daughter is a natural nighttime sleeper, so I got really lucky there. It was daytime sleep (naps) that we were having trouble with. My daughter is the alert, looking around, smiley, playful baby who fights sleep and wants to be with mom. Then she is the VERY LOUD screaming overtired baby who you CANNOT ignore.
For the first month of her life I feed her every 3 hours during the day and whenever she needed it at night. But, she didn't gain weight....so I had to add a supplementary bottle, which I did not like. In an effort to improve my breast milk supply I was told to nurse more often and for as long as the baby wanted to. I was initially opposed to the on-demand style of nursing, but scheduling wasn't working because my daughter wasn't thriving, so I gave it a try.
It worked to improve my milk supply, but my daughter still needs the supplement in order to gain weight. My life had NO predictability, I could never make plans unless they were the same day, and I knew I couldn't last like this much longer. After a month of this on demand feeding my baby went back to an every 3 hour feeding schedule during the day, and sleeping 8-10 hours every night pretty much on her own! But I could not get E.A.S.Y., or Eat, Activity, Sleep, You (me time) to work. She would sleep on the breast while nursing and not go down for naps. I tried putting her down before she ate so she would be rested. I tried putting her down after nursing since she had been sleepy. Neither worked and I just could not get it right.
That was until I reached out to my local circle of Newborn Care Specialists for help! Terian Johnston,CNCS guided me through E.A.S.Y. and now my daughter in napping, eating, and playing "on schedule" like clockwork! She is happy, sweet, talkative, discovering herself and her world, and thriving! And I now have my life back! I can make plans that won't interfere with my baby's needs, and my baby has a predictable routine and is getting nourished and rested throughout the day. She knows she is respected because things aren't happening to her by force or surprise, but flowing predicitably and calmly as her body's natural rhythm goes.
Do YOU Know When Your Baby Is Hungry?
Okay, so I am a Newborn Care Specialist, an experienced Nanny, a Family Science graduate, and I am a new mom that got to spend 10 days in the hospital with my baby and has had 4 wonderful pediatrician visits already... and NEVER ONCE was I taught all the hunger signs in a newborn!
If I didn't know what to watch for how many other moms don't know either? Millions I suspect. How tragic! Now I know why so many moms give up on breastfeeding and give in to formulas. Now I'm not saying this about the working mom, or those who never wanted to breastfeed, but for those of us who set out to breastfeed and had to supplement with formula, or even breast milk, and bottle feed their babies.
Today a lady from WIC called to see how it was going with a breast pump I "rented" and I went into the whole scenario of how my baby hadn't been gaining enough weight and how I am having to supplement her, and all the issues we are having with that. To my utter blessing this call came at the perfect time! I was able to go in same day and meet with lactation counselors and get great little tidbits, support, and a game plan!
I now have a renewed sense of confidence in my ability to increase my milk supply, in my baby's ability to demand/suck enough milk from me, and for all of this nursing business to get better with time! As a part of my astonishment I want to share what I learned today that I never learned in my Newborn Care courses (if I was taught it didn't stick, sorry), from the hospital NICU and nursery staff, the hospital lactation consultant, my fantastic pediatricians, my doula and childbirth education, or anyone else that I came into contact with over this time. So here it is:
If I didn't know what to watch for how many other moms don't know either? Millions I suspect. How tragic! Now I know why so many moms give up on breastfeeding and give in to formulas. Now I'm not saying this about the working mom, or those who never wanted to breastfeed, but for those of us who set out to breastfeed and had to supplement with formula, or even breast milk, and bottle feed their babies.
Today a lady from WIC called to see how it was going with a breast pump I "rented" and I went into the whole scenario of how my baby hadn't been gaining enough weight and how I am having to supplement her, and all the issues we are having with that. To my utter blessing this call came at the perfect time! I was able to go in same day and meet with lactation counselors and get great little tidbits, support, and a game plan!
I now have a renewed sense of confidence in my ability to increase my milk supply, in my baby's ability to demand/suck enough milk from me, and for all of this nursing business to get better with time! As a part of my astonishment I want to share what I learned today that I never learned in my Newborn Care courses (if I was taught it didn't stick, sorry), from the hospital NICU and nursery staff, the hospital lactation consultant, my fantastic pediatricians, my doula and childbirth education, or anyone else that I came into contact with over this time. So here it is:
Hunger Signs in a Newborn:
- baby making fists, usually near the face
- sucking on hands and/or fingers (at 2 months there is a difference between this and the ravenous fist knawing)
- rooting, which includes the tongue mouthing thing they do (mine does a slightly different form of this when "talking" so I had over looked the rooting form)
- rapid eye movement when asleep (which seems weird b/c babies spend abt 80% of their sleep time in REM sleep but this is what they said...)
- and one I figured out is anxiously sucking in pacifier when offered it then spitting it out mad that it's not giving them food, (mine screams, will take the paci again then spit it out and get mad)
- and of course very upset behavior soothed only by the breast or bottle
Anyone who knows anything else or has an issue with any of these please respond!
Is Attachment Parenting Working For You? A Look at Dr. William Sears' "Baby Bs"
The Dr. Sears Family seem to be everywhere these days! According to every blog, article and popular baby book, if you are not following their attachment parenting style you are damaging your baby...
November 2009 Issue of Baby Talk magazine features an article by Dr. William Sears with 7 points he calls the "Baby Bs":
1) Birth Bonding - this is the perfect time for 100% attachment parenting as your new baby transitions from a cozy life in the womb to a stimulating out of her control world.
2) Breastfeed - Without coming out and saying it Dr. William Sears promotes "on-demand" style of feeding, a notably controversial topic. While it is important to feed on demand the first 2-5 days to help milk let down and ensure bond and trust between mother and baby, the continuation of this practice can severely disturb the flow of a well functioning family and set unrealistic life expectations for baby. An agreeable point is that feeding time should be an intimate experience between parent and baby, and that bottle feeding is a great way for dad to be a part of this nurturing and bonding time.
3) Baby-Wearing - This is a great way to continue into the "fourth trimester", giving you and your baby the physical closeness you both need, and you, the parent, confidence that your love is felt. I am an absolute proponent of baby wearing over car seat carrying when out and about as it is much better for baby's proper physical development. Not to mention it is great for the baby to see life from your level!
4) Bedding Close to Baby - While Dr. Sears and most of his followers may be proponents of Co-Sleeping (a practice of letting the baby sleep in the parents bed, often called the family bed), he is careful to follow AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) guidelines of recommending separate sleeping accommodations. Sleeping in the same bed is strongly discouraged by the AAP as it increases the risk of SIDS. Where too put baby to sleep is a decision every family needs to make as they go, and adjust as baby becomes more and more capable of sleeping through the night.
5) Believe in the Value of Baby's Language - Dr. Sears states that "babies cry to communicate, not manipulate..." Okay I have spend countless hours with numerous babies and while this is novel idea, it is only true through rose colored glasses! Babies certainly manipulate, and I have seen parents fall for it many times! Manipulation is a survival skill, and survival of the fittest means the more manipulative a baby can learn to be, the better his chances for survival! Do not underestimate your baby's ability to manipulate!
6) Beware of Baby Training ????- The widespread nature of this very principle has nearly put me out of work! Parents are taught habits that keep them and their babies from sleeping through the night sometimes until a baby reaches 2 years old or older! How is this healthy?
How is this a realistic practice and life expectation for a child? Is he going to go to college and need sleep aide to get through the night, or not be able to sleep without eating every 3-4 hours??
Think about this... Is it not healthier for parents to promote sleep habits that naturally have babies sleeping 8-12 hours a night by 3 months of age? What if this would allow for better brain and physical development of the baby, emotional and mental stability for the whole family, respect for each's different needs, and appropriate societal functioning? I, like many other professionals working with families, babies, and parents will tell you that is exactly why helping "train" a baby and her parents to ditch bad sleep inturrupting habits and replace them with sleep promoting ones is vital to the health of the family.
Lastly, 7) Balance and Boundaries - Attachment Parenting offers a lot of suggestions to promote bonding and trust between babies and their parents, but a parent could go into a depression thinking they are an utter failure for not doing them all. This is not the point. Not even Dr. Sears expects you to do all these things, but find the practices that fit your family and adjust the ones that don't. This is where I come in to help. A balanced approach to parenting with an allowable margin for human error is crutial for the mental and emotional health of parents, especially moms, when adjusting to each new baby.
Let me help you focus on the simple habits and practices that are in harmony with your parenting goals and forget about the rest! You and your baby will thrive and everyone will be asking YOU how to do it!
GotNewborns.com
November 2009 Issue of Baby Talk magazine features an article by Dr. William Sears with 7 points he calls the "Baby Bs":
1) Birth Bonding - this is the perfect time for 100% attachment parenting as your new baby transitions from a cozy life in the womb to a stimulating out of her control world.
2) Breastfeed - Without coming out and saying it Dr. William Sears promotes "on-demand" style of feeding, a notably controversial topic. While it is important to feed on demand the first 2-5 days to help milk let down and ensure bond and trust between mother and baby, the continuation of this practice can severely disturb the flow of a well functioning family and set unrealistic life expectations for baby. An agreeable point is that feeding time should be an intimate experience between parent and baby, and that bottle feeding is a great way for dad to be a part of this nurturing and bonding time.
3) Baby-Wearing - This is a great way to continue into the "fourth trimester", giving you and your baby the physical closeness you both need, and you, the parent, confidence that your love is felt. I am an absolute proponent of baby wearing over car seat carrying when out and about as it is much better for baby's proper physical development. Not to mention it is great for the baby to see life from your level!
4) Bedding Close to Baby - While Dr. Sears and most of his followers may be proponents of Co-Sleeping (a practice of letting the baby sleep in the parents bed, often called the family bed), he is careful to follow AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) guidelines of recommending separate sleeping accommodations. Sleeping in the same bed is strongly discouraged by the AAP as it increases the risk of SIDS. Where too put baby to sleep is a decision every family needs to make as they go, and adjust as baby becomes more and more capable of sleeping through the night.
5) Believe in the Value of Baby's Language - Dr. Sears states that "babies cry to communicate, not manipulate..." Okay I have spend countless hours with numerous babies and while this is novel idea, it is only true through rose colored glasses! Babies certainly manipulate, and I have seen parents fall for it many times! Manipulation is a survival skill, and survival of the fittest means the more manipulative a baby can learn to be, the better his chances for survival! Do not underestimate your baby's ability to manipulate!
6) Beware of Baby Training ????- The widespread nature of this very principle has nearly put me out of work! Parents are taught habits that keep them and their babies from sleeping through the night sometimes until a baby reaches 2 years old or older! How is this healthy?
How is this a realistic practice and life expectation for a child? Is he going to go to college and need sleep aide to get through the night, or not be able to sleep without eating every 3-4 hours??
Think about this... Is it not healthier for parents to promote sleep habits that naturally have babies sleeping 8-12 hours a night by 3 months of age? What if this would allow for better brain and physical development of the baby, emotional and mental stability for the whole family, respect for each's different needs, and appropriate societal functioning? I, like many other professionals working with families, babies, and parents will tell you that is exactly why helping "train" a baby and her parents to ditch bad sleep inturrupting habits and replace them with sleep promoting ones is vital to the health of the family.
Lastly, 7) Balance and Boundaries - Attachment Parenting offers a lot of suggestions to promote bonding and trust between babies and their parents, but a parent could go into a depression thinking they are an utter failure for not doing them all. This is not the point. Not even Dr. Sears expects you to do all these things, but find the practices that fit your family and adjust the ones that don't. This is where I come in to help. A balanced approach to parenting with an allowable margin for human error is crutial for the mental and emotional health of parents, especially moms, when adjusting to each new baby.
Let me help you focus on the simple habits and practices that are in harmony with your parenting goals and forget about the rest! You and your baby will thrive and everyone will be asking YOU how to do it!
GotNewborns.com
A Refreshing place to discuss, comment, vote on, and review Today's Hot Parenting Topics!
Welcome to GotNewborns' blog
I have created this space as a place to share opinions and talk about popular pareting issues and hot topics parents face today!
I have created this space as a place to share opinions and talk about popular pareting issues and hot topics parents face today!
Feel free to post, comment, or even disagree!
I love hearing your thoughts and many different perspectives. There is never just one right way to do anything so let the ball roll......!
~Heather
www.gotnewborns.com
